Saturday, August 5 – BEASTMASTER 2: THROUGH THE PORTAL OF TIME – The movie made famous by Dan’s slip of the tongue! What happens when Dar, everyone’s favorite barbarian with animal telepathy powers, is sent to 1990s L.A. through an actual Port-hole of Time?! Directed by a guy who never made another film, and written by Jim Wynorski, the man responsible for both Chopping Mall and Busty Cops Go Hawaiian.
Saturday, September 9 – COOL WORLD – As the tagline says, “Holly would if she could!” What does that mean? We’ve seen this animated/live-action sex-thriller-comedy and we still don’t know. We do know that apparently director Ralph Bakshi didn’t bother giving animators the script, instead saying “do a scene that’s funny, whatever you want to do!” A unique strategy!
Saturday, October 7 – Double feature! – HOT DOG: THE MOVIE / HAMBURGER: THE MOTION PICTURE – It’s a double bill of the only two 1980’s movies to be officially adapted from food! Will we get confused and try to eat the movies? Join us to find out!
Saturday, November 4 – OVER THE TOP – History’s greatest movie star, Sly Stallone, takes on history’s greatest sport: arm wrestling, in a film directed by one of history’s greatest schlockmeisters, Menahem Golan. Will Sly himself stop by, in search of restaurant-quality Tostito’s brand corn chips? Join us to find out.
Saturday, December 2 – BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER – It’s the movie title that made America go “Huh?” and also “What?” and “The hell?” Are Ecks and Sever the names of people? Are we supposed to know who they are? Why are they versus each other? What’s “ballistic” doing in there? Learn with us!
Saturday, January 6 – NUKIE – Considered one of the worst films ever made, this South African knockoff of E.T. is rich with rubber-suit, snot-nosed child aliens waddling around! Elliott has long done a presentation warning people not to watch this movie. But we’re gonna!
Elliott, Dan, and Stuart discuss the ill-conceived action sequel Speed 2: Cruise Control (which asked the question “Why set a Speed sequel on the slowest form of transportation?”)
Finally! Finally we can learn the secret of the ooze! What IS it? Is it what made the turtle costumes of this sequel look so much cheaper than the ones in the first TMNT movie? Is the ooze the smarm exuding from Vanilla Ice as he performs “Ninja Rap?” Is it just what mozzarella on a delicious sewer pizza does? We have to know!
How did a movie from the director of City Slickers and Tremors, with a cast including Eddie Murphy, Pam Grier, Rosario Dawson, John Cleese, and Joey Pants turn out to be one of the biggest critical/commercial flops EVER, making 7mil on a 100mil budget? We’ll find out!
Nothing more heartwarming than a holiday family movie where Michael Keaton dies and comes back as a snowman friend for his young son. Oops – sorry. We misspelled “traumatizing.” Contains the lines "You the man!” “NO, I'm the SNOWMAN!”
A totally normal movie about a guy who falls in love with a roller-skating Greek muse who inspires him to open a nightclub and also there’s an animated sequence and Gene Kelly. While on many canonical “bad” movie lists, this is kind of an awesome time capsule of early-‘80s excess, with a great ELO/Olivia Newton John soundtrack!
Oft-mentioned on the Flop House for its pure ’70s sci-fi pretense/weirdness (Sean Connery runs around in a red outfit halfway between Milla Jovovich in The Fifth Element and a diaper, a giant floating rock head yells about guns and penises), this will be the first time we give it the full show treatment!
One of the death knell films for old Hollywood, before the “new Hollywood” era of the ’70s, this bloated (152 minute!) musical about the titular doctor who can “talk to the animals” cost 17 million in ’60s dollars and made about half that. Despite no one liking it much, it was nominated for 9 Oscars and won 2! Studios could still spend their way to THAT, at least!
And for the finale, the big one! The movie that was crowned by The Golden Turkey Awards as “worst ever,” and the defining film by schlock auteur Ed Wood -- a director so revered for being bad, they made a movie about him! My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about grave robbers from outer space? Can you prove that it didn't happen?